10 Ways to Save the Knicks

Tonight is the NBA draft, I don't know why but it's one of my favorite nights of the year, I love drafts I don't know why, something about starting fresh maybe, new hope, new players, seeing 19 year old kids becoming multi-millionaires with the call of their name, something about watching this is better than any reality TV show out there and this is why tonight I'm going to be glued to my TV eagerly anticipating my Knicks picking at number 6. It's time for a new re-birth, a new start because being a fan of the Knicks since I was 10 I feel like I'm trapped in a bad Irish Catholic marriage, in that I hate my wife but my religion won't let me leave her. The great Knicks teams were boring as anything to watch, but we loved them, I feel like every team needs an Oakley or a Mason, hell I even remember that Go NY, Go NY song from the early 90's when the Knicks were playing for the championship. Ever since the strike shortened 98-99 season when the Knicks rode Sprewell's back all the way to the championship before falling short to the Spurs. Ever since that heroic effort it's been one calamity after another, basically digging themselves out of a hole since the Ewing trade which slowly set them free falling into salary cap hell..........Now being a long suffering Knick fan, I've been thinking how the hell do we get out this mess? When does it end? When do we become good again?. After many months I have come to a conclusion about how to get the Knicks back on track, get the ship out of the ice and moving again, and also how to get their fans back to watching them............so without further ado here's a list of 10 ways to save the Knicks.........

1) DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!-- The best way to get this franchise turned around is to let the salaries come off, build through the draft, and get under the cap by 2010 just in time for Lebron to be a free agent. The Knicks are presently about 35 million over the cap, and won't be under the cap till 2010/2011, they have no tradeable assets that anyone really wants except for Lee, so their only option is to sit back and get under the cap. Playing in NY is a big enough draw for any free agent, so if I ran the team I would preach patience, stick with the kids, suffer for a little bit, and then like a perfect storm put it all together in a few years.

2) DON'T TRADE DAVID LEE- I keep hearing rumors with this guy's name in it, I can only hope and pray that they don't trade him. He's probably the only reason Knick fans actually watch the Knicks, I know it's the only reason I do. He's the only guy on the court who actually looks like he gives a crap and he comes at a relatively cheap bargain, going back to first thing do absolutely nothing, play him more and keep your fan base happy......I really hope we don't trade him and someone else for someone who averages 17 ppg but is making 12 mill a year for the next 5 years.......Patience

3) DON'T TRADE MARBURY- Starbury has one year left on his contract, granted its for 22 million, but it's still one year......expiring contracts are the greatest thing in basketball, everyone wants them, a common Knick move would be trading this contract for someone like Kenyon Martin and change because they need to "bolster" their front court for an extra 5 years of salary cap hell. Like I keep preaching in this column and it should be a recurring them for the next two years Patience........also you can still get something out of Coney Island's finest.......

4) DRAFT SMART- We're looking for team leaders, guys who come from cultures of winning, programs that produce quality players........we want to change the culture, new coach, new players, etc........Lord help me if they draft Galinarri from Italy, I mean come on seriously I have never ever seen an Italian who can play basketball, I'm Italian i'm short and my goal in basketball is touching the net.........I just can't imagine this guy being any good, plus how many busts not named Nowitzki have come from the Euro zone region??? Can we please draft American, names I like Westbrook, Bayless, and Love(I actually think Love can be big)

5) No more mid level exceptions for 7 footers- This is directed right at you Jerome James, I'm not a big fan of 7 footers who can't play, and who just sit their and collect 6.5 million a year for the next 3 years.........UGH

6) Nutrisystem- This means you Eddy Curry/Zack Randolph, we need to get you two slimmed down , lean and mean......either that or have them fight to the death and the winner gets to start alongside Lee...........It agitates me that we are paying 30 million a year for two big man who can't get off the ground........plus I always worry Randolph is close enough to being crazy were he can pull an Artest at any moment, speaking of Artest DO NOT trade for him, just a huge NG.......

7) Isiah- We already did the right thing and got rid of him as coach, huge step in the right direction, but he's still lingering, he still has the ability to corrupt a team like no other, he's like the mole in CTU on 24, he's around and he's going to fuck something up by leaking stuff.....This guy is the human mush, everything he's touched has fallen apart--CBA, Toronto, NYK, if I had this guy''s resume in my field I would be outside next to Hank the Homeless guy begging people for $$.

8) Fans- It's about time the Knicks show some love to their fans, we pay waaaaaaaaay too much money to go to these games, how about a little return on our investments besides a t-shirt being shot through a cannon............here's an idea I've been tinkering with how bout during halftime of each game one lucky fan gets to play a game of 1 on 1 to 5 versus Jerome James for his game's paycheck, I mean it works perfect, J.J. doesn't play so it's not like he'll be tired, I don't see him much as a RAH-RAH guy on the bench, he's basically 84 inches sitting in a chair making 6 million a year, why not spice it up a little bit? Wouldn't this be the best part of a game in which the Knicks are losing to Boston by 25, I don't know just a thought

9) Kidnap Dolan- If the Knicks even get a whif of getting close to the playoffs, someone needs to kidnap and hold him hostage till May, if one thing could screw up patience it's this guy pressuring Donnie Walsh to make a trade or do something assanine to ruin us long term for a short term playoff run with us in the 8th seed...........

10) Rucker Park- Now this is my favorite idea and also such a genius idea it makes me believe that I should be working for television, my idea is in the summer they hold a contest on the MSG network at the famed Rucker Park, think along the lines of American Idol, we get 12 NYC ballplayers and have them compete in different contests, 1 on 1 , 5 on 5 full court games, halfcourt drills, dunk contests, etc......We start this contest in the first week of June and every week one person gets voted off till you get to the final 2. Once you get to the final 2 they play a one on one game to 21, the winner makes the Knicks as 12th man and gets a guaranteed 1 year contract. Now not only would it be a hometown guy who has to work his ass off to make the team, fans would genuinely be interested in him, they would root for him to get in for the last 4 minutes of a blowout......plus Dolan owns MSG, I can see this being a blockbuster for his TV network, we can even have Walt Clyde doing the announcing...........I'm giddy with all the different possibilities..................

So as I'm sitting around tonight waiting and hoping for the Knicks to do the right thing only to be crushed by this proposed rumor Lee and the 6th to portland for Jack, 13, and 27 actually happening, I can only hope and pray we just preach patience so that by the time I'm 30 I can actually be happy in a winning environment, so I hope someone who reads this might know someone in the Knicks brass and actually passes along my ideas, granted im just one Knick fan, but I can dare to dream...........

TP